Has it been awhile since you’ve been out on a date? You might be getting back into the game after a long relationship and your dating social skills could be a bit rusty. Things have changed out there but that doesn’t mean you won’t find success. The most important thing to do is take away the pressure. Just because you’re meeting someone on a first date for coffee or a cocktail doesn’t mean it has to turn into a “forever thing.” Still, you don’t want to get shut down right out of the gate. You’ll have a much better dating success if you can avoid asking these particular questions

Why did you break up with your last partner?

The more you date a particular person, the more you’ll learn about them but you don’t need to know their in-depth history on the first date. It is one thing if they volunteer information about their last relationship but you don’t have to go fishing for it. It’s a date, not an interrogation.

“Why are you single?”

Your intent with this question could be to flatter someone. After all, if they are impressive, then you would have to wonder why they aren’t in a relationship. You can wonder that; just don’t vocalize it. The reason is that it could be taken as an insult. What are you implying?

“How many people have you been with?”

A person’s intimate history is just that: intimate. That means it is none of your business. It might also be a fact you should never know. How will that knowledge alter what you’re feeling in the moment about this person? It could mess up what you’re feeling. Again, they might want to volunteer their history at some point but it is for them to do.

“What kind of money do you make?”

This might actually be worse than asking who they’ve slept with. You can absolutely talk about careers and ambitions but leave the bank accounts out of it.

“Where do you see us heading?”

When everything is going according to plan and you’re really hitting it off with your date, the natural inclination is to want to extend the time together. There is nothing wrong with that but you don’t really know where the other person is coming from yet. It is much better to focus on having a good time on this date. At the end, you can share your thoughts about seeing them again and see where that goes. But make this first date matter.

“How do you feel about kids?”

That question can be very loaded. It implies you’re seeking a future with this person and you already have your “boundaries.” That is jumping the starting line a bit. Of course, it is different if you already have kids. This is something they should know about up front before you even arrange for the date. As for the future and starting a family, date for several months before you go there.